One of the finest joys of performing advanced keyword research (looking into the hearts and minds of our society by probing millions of unique search phrases) is encountering the stream of absolutely ridiculous phrases that people are, for one reason or another, entering into search engines.

Over the course of the past year, I have begun documenting several of the most absurd of these search phrases. In fact, the coil-bound notebook that sits beside my monitor has become one of the strangest and most curious books I have encountered - strange because of the very human reality behind each new entry.

What does it mean when significant numbers of people all search for the same bizarre topic? What thoughts and situations give rise to someone entering these phrases in the first place? If thinking about the individuals and real-life situations that create these search statistics don’t make you smile or shake your head in wonder, I can’t imagine what will!

Bizarre Phrases that People Actually Type into Search Engines*:
* using Wordtracker data spanning August 2005 – October 2006

Creative Home Projects:

• how to build a catapult (searched 230 times per day)
• how to eat fried worms (696)
• how to make a toga (448)

People Still Learning the Basics:

• what is history (205)
• open a beer bottle (22)
• when did christianity start (61)
• what is a search engine (276)

Huh??

• box full of sharp objects (185)
• insanity test (322)
• monkey business (195)

Self-Help Dieticians:

• how to gain weight (407)
• how to be anorexic (193)
• beer into g feeding tube (15)
• how to make moonshine (173)

Health:

• self injury tricks (27)
• can stress cause hives (90)
• pictures of scurvy (40)
• donate a testicle (193)

Searches by Animal Lovers:

• realistic stuffed shih tzus (36)
• fainting goat video (28)
• exploding whale (156)
• bear vs shark (72)
• biggest bear ever (54)

People Hoping Search Data Stays Anonymous Forever:

• guide to stretch your anus (153)
• men in panties (1611)
• hairy oshawa women (6)
• pull my finger (186)
• atomic wedgie (298)

The Search Continues…

• loch ness monster (2044)
• ghost pictures (1209)
• real ghosts (337)
• pirate treasure maps (275)
• proof that elvis is alive (18)
• ufo sightings (705)

Conclusive proof that the truth is stranger than fiction? Who enters all these phrases anyway?

Epiar Inc. is an Edmonton-based internet market research and search engine optimization company. Please contact us for more information or to commission your own research reports.

Everybody wants a new guitar to kickstart their dreams of becoming a rock star – but what kind of guitars are people dreaming of?

Recent research by Epiar explored the demand for rock music’s favourite instrument by sorting frequency with which phrases including the word “guitar” are entered into search engines. Several charts emerged which show the top guitar brands, types, tabs, pointers, and accessories – lists that should make any aspiring Jimi Hendrix, Chet Atkins, Django Reinhardt, or Randy Rhodes salivate!

For a complete listing of the top 6000 search phrases that include the word “guitar”, click here.

Power Brands

Guitar enthusiasts love to dream about the next guitar to add to their collection, apparently turning to online search as a part of the fun. Should it be a mellow solid-body Gibson electric? Or perhaps a 12-string jumbo acoustic for that bluegrass project? How about a vintage Fender Stratocaster, internet search’s most popular model? Or a Hamer bass for subbing in while your bassist is gone on summer vacation?

When looking through the top 52,591,755 estimated annual searches for guitars, the following popular brands and manufacturers emerged at the top of the heap:

So Many Riffs, So Little Time

Without surprise, extensive searches for resource material relating to playing guitar were also found. Not only are people going online to dream about their next guitar purchase, they are also using search engines to find songs, tabs, chords, lessons, and scales. Highlight phrases from the complete guitar resources research report include the following top 10 search phrases:

• Guitar tabs (searched 7,538 times per day)
• Free guitar tabs (1,337)
• Guitar lessons (731)
• Free guitar lessons (440)
• Free guitar tablature (338)
• Christian guitar tabs (318)
• Guitar scales (311)
• Guitar chord charts (308)
• Guitar music (302)
• Free guitar music (300)

Take it to the Coda…

All this talk of guitars makes me want to play a few songs and solos right now! Good thing my whammy bar’s in and those amplifier tubes are nearly warmed and ready to go…

Epiar Inc. is an Edmonton-based internet market research and search engine optimization company. Please contact us for more information or to commission your own research reports.

Good health is a luxury that many take for granted, a point reinforced when exploring the overwhelming number of phrases entered into search engines surrounding medical problems and conditions.

Recent research by Epiar Inc. uncovered an astounding volume of searches seeking information and resources relating to human health problems. The analysis of this information provides unique and unprecedented insight into our culture’s most prevalent medical concerns, questions, fears, and ailments.

The following chart highlights the top-searched medical problems according to online search:

Click here to view the full listing of all 45,477 phrases considered in this study. Or, for a more focused report, consider these 10,750 relevant phrases.

Taking a Closer Look

Search statistic reports for viruses, diseases, disorders, and syndromes read like shopping lists of the various conditions known by our society, while searches for strokes and seizures center more closely on the personal responses of people faced with these conditions.

Interestingly, less serious medical issues also appear prominently within internet search – issues impossible to fully measure using conventional hospital or clinic-based patient statistics. Problems such as fevers, inflammations, spasms, and infections, which may be treated at home (in minor cases) using rest and a little information from the internet, clearly appear within the public’s mind. I sure am glad I’ve never encountered esophageal spasms before!

Curiously, marked differences appeared in searches for sicknesses and illnesses. I had always thought of these words as referring to the same thing, but search frequency statistics disagree.

Cultural anthropologists studying the topic of taboo in today’s society should find the analysis of people’s search behaviour surrounding excretory organ problems (7,515,350 estimated annual searches) and sexual organ problems (13,434,555) of interest. Searches surrounding these ‘private’ body parts were comparable to or exceeding searches for other portions of the human body, even the heart (8,008,100). For public health education specialists, how does the knowledge that people are turning to the internet for information surrounding ‘private’ health concerns (instead of speaking to friends, relatives, or a medical professional about these embarrassing / taboo issues) affect educational strategies for effectively communicating important information to the people who really need it?

Within the myriad of dis-ease centered searches, hopes for a cure were also present. I hope the searchers find what they are looking for.

Cancer Searches Very High

Not surprisingly, cancer appeared as one of the most prominent topics the public’s mind. Taking a closer look at the public’s search surrounding cancer, people seem to be the most interested in learning more about cancer symptoms and signs (perhaps in self-diagnostic activities?) as well as cancer treatments.

Interestingly, searches for symptoms and signs of any ailments also centered on cancer. Fear of cancer is clearly near the top of the public’s mind when it comes to health.

Oddly, people are also searching for pictures of various ailments, including skin cancer, toungue cancer, and scarlet fever. This information could be valuable to webmasters at public medical information sites.

Applying the Information

Aside from the sociological intrigue of all this health-related data, imagine how much a pharmaceutical company selling pain relievers could benefit from using charts like these, or perhaps a government department figuring out how to improve health care. Hopefully, following my ice hockey season-opener this Monday night, I won’t be searching for lower-body ailment information myself!

If searches like these aren’t enough to rejuvenate your personal cardiovascular programs, detoxification routines, de-stressing relaxation time, and your vegetable intake, perhaps you should revise your medical insurance plan already!

Epiar Inc. is an Edmonton-based internet market research and search engine optimization company. Please contact us for more information or to commission your own research reports.

Just a few weeks into the National Football League season, what words and phrases are curious fans typing into search engines when thinking about the NFL? According to recent internet search statistics, topics such as jerseys, predictions, draft picks, betting, and cheerleaders are all high on eager fans’ minds.

Taking a look at the top 4200 phrases entered into search engines over the past 90 days that include the word “NFL”, recent research by Epiar explored the nature of online search surrounding one of America’s biggest professional sports leagues.

Amazingly, while only tracking search phrases that include the word “NFL” (leaving out countless additional football-related search phrases, such as the names of popular players, teams, stadiums, cheerleaders, former stars, etc.) clear trends in public search became clear:

To view a full report of these internet searches, please download the complete “NFL” search phrases report.

More Information, Please?

Searches for informational resources such as game predictions, NFL history, injuries, schedules, and fantasy football were quite high. Popular examples of common search phrases include:

• “NFL predictions” (searched 218 times per day)
• “Free NFL football schedule” (199)
• “2006 NFL predictions” (150)
• “NFL rules” (78)
• “NFL game picks” (77)
• “Live streaming video NFL” (66)
• “NFL football history” (43)
• “NFL week 1 predictions” (39)
• “Free NFL football odds” (39)
• “NFL trivia” (33)

Do I detect a series of linkbait opportunities or easy topics for adding informational resources to increase traffic to a merchandise site? For a complete listing of NFL information-based search phrases, check out this NFL informational resources report.

The Hand-off from Search Frequency Research to E-commerce:

Searches for NFL merchandise were also high, with fans most frequently searching for “jerseys”, “helmets”, “hats”, and “shirts”. With regard to jerseys, searches for “authentic NFL jerseys” (searched 80 times per day), “NFL throwback jersey” (71), and “youth NFL jerseys” (59) were particularly high.

Curiously, in response to this search demand by interested consumers, a quick scan of the top-ranked PPC sporting-goods stores shows very sparse (if any) placement of these phrases on their landing pages. In fact, several of these sites don’t offer “throwback” jerseys or “authentic” jerseys at all. I guess these web marketing departments have decided to build fancy web sites, pay advertising $’s to get visitors, and then not offer the products that people are asking for? Sounds like a strange way of making money to me! Too bad they didn’t invest in a little market research before figuring out what to sell…

Epiar Inc. is an Edmonton-based internet market research and search engine optimization company. Please contact us for more information or to commission your own research reports.

Much could be said about the bewildering state of affairs in Iraq, but what do search statistics have to contribute to the pundits’ discussion? Which topics and themes do public interests gravitate toward? Which juicy details are people the most curious about when searching for Iraq online? How do these trends reflect upon the state of our society?

Recent research by Epiar Inc. explored the nature of online search surrounding Iraq and its principle cities. Examining the most popular 7800 search queries that include the words “Iraq”, “Iraqi”, “Baghdad”, or 11 other Iraq cities (using information from Wordtracker, taken from internet searches over the past 90 days), the following topics rose to the top of the public’s mind:

Click here for a full version of this Iraq search statistics report.

Without surprise, words such as “war”, “soldiers”, “military”, and “security” appeared prominently within public search, as did searches for information relating to casualties. Numerous searches for news and informational resources also appeared, with heavy demand for “maps”, “videos”, “news”, “pictures”, and “facts”.

Surprising topics were also present within the search query information. Unexpectedly high levels of search centered around the Iraqi Dinar, possibly performed by currency traders hoping to time a profitable investment in the troubled Iraqi currency? Searches for jobs in Iraq were also high, despite the noteworthy security concerns.

Sadly, searches relating to the ugliest portions of warfare also appeared, with thoughts of beheading, rape, torture, and exploitation on the minds of curious searchers.

Ironically, the supposed “search” for the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq also continues. Have the military strategists who concocted this war in the first place now resorted to scouring .html files?

On a lighter note, searches for a local breed of spiders were also high, with an estimated 147,460 annual searches for variations of the phrase “Iraq camel spiders”. I’d much rather look for exotic sand spiders on the internet than in person too!

Epiar Inc. is an Edmonton-based internet market research and search engine optimization company. Please contact us for more information or to commission your own research reports.